Just wondering...

about John - you know the disciple often referred to by the moniker "the one that Jesus loved."

What was he thinking as he wrote the Gospel of St. John? As he replayed the scenes of his life with Jesus and the 12 stooges (of which he was one), what was going on in his mind? His heart?

Like this for example: John and James are walking with Jesus, whispering and trying to convince Jesus that they should be seated at the right hand of the Father... "ooh, ooh, pick me, pick me," they clamor - each trying to drown out the other with their shrill petitions. All the while totally oblivious to the ten men who have walked with them these past three years.

Fast forward through Jesus' rebuke to Christ on His knee's. A towel, a basin, some water gently massaging the dirt from John's feet - no longer rebuking but modeling the compassionate, service that true leadership is to emulate.... No matter the sin, no matter how dirty their feet are (and could we throw in a quick side note that here Jesus honors and blesses "THE FEET OF THOSE WHO BRING GOOD NEWS OF GOOD THINGS !" in preparation for what lied ahead for John and the others.) Jesus reached into where John is and lovingly ministers peace and grace to him.

As John remembered these thing, did he weep at the missed opportunities? Did he rejoice at the grace given and mercy overflowing?

I can imagine a little guilt, a little shame, a little embarrassment, a little regret... a lot of gratitude. The goal/outcome of this foot washing is that John, Peter, et. al. are now compelled by the love of Christ to share the Gospel of Christ everywhere it is not, yet. To boldly go where no man has gone before with a message that no man had taken before to a people who had not heard before.

What about you? Have you thought about the lessons Jesus has tried to teach you along the way? When you do, what emotions rise up from within you? And what are you compelled to do as a result?